Are you on the right side of history?

Years and years from now, when our children's children are coming over to visit and they talk about 'back when gay people didn't have equal rights' what will you tell them? Will you talk about how you stood your ground and fought through all odds to win your rights? will you tell them that you were there, standing side by side with your gay friends/family, to help them win their rights? or will you tell them that you were against it? 2 of those answers will make your grand kids look up at you in pride. Spoiler: the last one isn't one of them.

You might not realize it now, but years from now this WILL end up in the history books. It might not seem like that big of a deal to some people, but it is bigger than you know.

I bet during the women's rights movement, many men thought that women wouldn't get their rights and that years later it would all be done for and forgotten. But that wasn't the case, women never gave up, they fought, and they fought until they had the same rights as any man. Today we read about it in the history books.

Even farther back, when blacks had to fight for their rights. Whites saw them as less. Like they weren't human beings. But that wasn't all whites! some whites were there and supported the black's getting their rights. Again, people thought it would just go away, that this wouldn't be a big deal, but it DIDN'T go away, it went on until rights were given. Today we read about it in the history books.

A little closer to home now. Some might not even think about this now, but for a while, blacks and whites couldn't marry one another. They fought and won their rights as well. During this fight it was said that if blacks and whites were aloud to marry one another, it would tear the fabric of society! The next step would be people wanting to marry their dogs! Everything would change and not for the better. But here we are, inter-racial families are just a normal part of society now. We read about this in the history books.

Now here we are, gay people having to fight for OUR right to marry. Really, you think people would see the pattern by now. People fight for their rights until they get it. We aren't just going to give up because you say 'The bible says it is wrong.' There is a reason for the separation of church and state, this is one of those reasons. We can't make a decision based on our religion. Just because you believe something doesn't mean everyone else does. There are gay christians and churches that accept gay people into their society, just because you are stuck in the past, doesn't mean the world should be also.

The world is a new place now compared to what it was. Has anyone ever stopped to think that maybe what the bible is, isn't all that it ever will be? Maybe there is more out there being written right now as I type, The rules in the bible changed from the old to new testament. Who's to say it wont change again? People change, times change. It is just life.

So I will ask you again:

Stop and look at your self right now...

When this time is looked back on in the future...

Will you be seen as the good guy?...

Or the bad guy?

Ribbons in time

Have you ever taken a moment to think about what your feelings? I don't mean what you are feeling, but the feeling itself. It is so strange to think that one feeling or emotion is there for a moment and then is gone. It just deosn't make any sense. Something so strong and so powerful, but yet it only exists in that moment? So I began thinking about this today and I realized, these feelings never really do leave. They are forever stuck in that place, or with a certain thing there at the time. Forever implanted right where the feeling started. It is like through out or life we are leaving this trail. A trail composed of a ribbon. This ribbon can change colors and textures depending on our feelings and once it has found something to stick to, it is forever there. Over time some of the trail becomes sheer, things are forgotten and just left blowing in the wind. But there will always be those feelings you had that stand strong. The ones that when you see a certain item, or you walk down that 1 street, you can feel that sense of great emotion lingering there.

Everyone has those places where they go when they need a mood booster. After a while that spot looses its magic. I believe this is because after so long of going there for comfort, our once ribbon of silk has been covered over with many ribbons or burlap and baft, taking that place we once saw joy and replacing it with the memories of why you went there for comfort and solitude to begin with.

Most of the time these ribons are invisible, and only you know where they lye. But every once in a while you can see it in someones eye, where their ribbons lye.

You could be walking down the street one day and watch as a woman sits on a park bench. She will get this smile on her face, like seeing an old friend. She might slowly run her hand along the bench and breath in a deep breath, remembering days long gone. Right then you can see her ribbon, you don't know what happened there to leave her so attached, but you know that the ribbon that lies there is a soft fine one, one that holds happiness.

Or you could be at a funeral. An older woman clutching a handkerchief to her chest as she rests a gentle shaking hand on a casket. Her eyes well with tears as she looks at her husband of 50 years lying there lifeless. She will place that very handkerchief on his chest after gently pressing it to her lips. In that moment you can see that the small piece of cloth was so much more, it had been wrapped with years of satin and then draped with a shawl of horrible black burlap.

These ribbons go on throughout your whole life and they get tangled with others.

Like that first kiss, that moment 2 ribbons found eachother and twisted together, forever holding true in both of your lives.
It could be an accident and your ribbons get harshly tangled, unable to tear them from each other.
Or it could be a wondrous occasion, a child being born bringing many hearts together, forever weaving beautiful shades and textures of ribbon together in love.

No one realizes it but what we feel every day, it lingers for a lifetime. What we feel everyday, it could leave a huge imprint on our future. All of that ribbon left behind, one day it will catch up to you, the question is, will you be able to weave a beautiful soft enjoyable blanket with it? one that you can cover up with and be happy keeping forever? or will your blanket be horribly scrachy and pokey, making you miserable forever?

Her

So this has turned into more of a romantic love type of blog than what was originally planned, and that is fine. But every now and again people want something they can laugh at. So now for a little story about how I discovered who I REALLY am.

For the longest time I dated guy after guy after guy. Basically, if a guy asked me out? BAM we were dating. Some lasted a while, some only last a matter of days. But in the end, when it was over whether I ended it or they did I didn't care. I would pretend I did, act depressed and like *cue dramatic-teenage-girl-breakup-drama* "Oh my god! my life is over! what will I ever do!" so that my friends wouldn't be like *cue-teenage-girl-fighting-for-no-reason* "You heartless bitch!"

But if I do say so myself I was a pretty damn good actress! I even convinced myself for a while there that I actually gave a damn about what guys thought about me.

But then one day along came this glorious angel. She was beautiful, though she couldn't see it. She was so very talented, though she denied it. From the moment we actually met, I knew there was just something different about her. We talked and became best friends. She knew every little dirty secret of mine,even the ones I made up foolishly to impress her. I knew about her secret crushes and teased her about them. It was the best friendship I had ever been in. Just full of laughter, happiness, and fun.

She sat behind me in English class and yes I know this whole thing sounds so cliche and lame, but this is honest to god how everything happened!

She started dating this guy that I had dated once, he was such a big looser. He was far to nice and needy, the type of guy that you just want to smack in the face and scream "WHAT THE HELL DUDE STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!" but no one ever did, so he went on being needy and pathetic.

Well while she was dating him we talked all the time and I began to realize that the happiness I got when I was around her wasn't because we were the best friends ever, it was because when we were together she gave me her full attention as if I was the only person in her life, and that was what I wanted.

Well when she was dating the pathetic looser, (lets just call him Eugumphry) I started to realize that my time with her was being stolen from me because his dumb ass was invading her thoughts. I started to feel something and I didn't like it one bit. I wanted to rip Eugumphrys head right off his body and feed it to my cat. But I had never felt anything like this before so I wasn't sure if this was really what jealousy felt like or if this was something else that was wrong with me.

So months went by and this feeling just kept getting stronger inside of me. I eventually just ran with the idea that it was jealousy and thought I should just buck up and live with it. Another couple months past and Eugumphry came for me for advice because apparently him and (we are going to call her Scarlet Rose) had been having problems lately and he needed my help because he knew that I knew her best. (that made me feel great, knowing that Eugumphry thought that I knew more about his girlfriend than I did.)

So foolishly I told him that I was going to help him out. At first I tried to actually help him. Then one day I was talking to Scarlet Rose in class and I let it slip that I liked her, and when I say like her, I mean I was so madly in love with her that I would find a way to move the sun moon and stars to make her happy. When I told her this, she told me she liked me also. At that very moment something switched in my head. I knew I had to destroy Eugumphry. The war was on.

I started feeding him false crap to do for Scarlet Rose that other girls would like but that she would hate and think was just disgusting and just want to smack him around. Then when I was talking to her and she would complain to me about something horribly stupid that he did to her I would talk crap about him back, implanting the thought that she hates his horrible guts and I am so SO SO much better than he could ever be to her.

We started making up stupid names for him and the one I remember most was M.A.W.F.U.B (motherfucking ass wipe fucked up bastard) Not soon after that name was created she left him and I remember that day so clearly because that was one of the all time happiest moments in my life.

She walked up to him after English (which I had with her) and dumped him, she wasn't nice about it either. She walked into her last period (which I also had with her, we sat next to each other) and we started writing a note back and forth like normal. I can't remember EVERYTHING that was said in that note but I remember one of us saying "blah blah KICKED THAT MAWFUB TO THE CURB!" then we talked for a while longer about a lot of nothing like normal and she asked me to be her girl... I read that and my heart soared, I had never felt like that from being asked out by someone my whole life! It was like someone from heaven reached down and touched my heart. Taking all of my worry and pain away for just a couple seconds. I said yes and so began the BEST relationship I had ever been in... Now if only I can convince her that I am best for her now also... I'll put a ring on her finger soon :)

Yup so it was funny in parts but most of it was love and romance, sorry but it looks as if I am just far too much in love to write something funny right now. Well I hope you enjoy romance crap because it looks as if you are going to be getting alot of it for a long time, and if I marry this girl then hey! you shall be getting it forever or until I decide to quit writing this blog, if more people start reading it though then maybe I wont quit it... hey a girl has to make a living some how!

Quotes

Ok so we all have to admit, at certain points in our life we look up those stupid pictures with the quotes on them trying desperately to find just one that has exactly what you are feeling on it. Unfortunately though, sometimes there isn't one. Sometimes what you are feeling is just so complex and unreal that you get this feeling that you are the only one in the whole world that has ever felt this. Sure we all know that it isn't possibly true, with billions and billions of people in the world, surely someone out there somewhere has felt this also. But in that moment, that is how you feel.

Sometimes it is amazing! Sometimes you are just so full of joy and life and everything seems beyond perfect. You cant help but think to yourself "Wow! I am the happiest person alive!" and it is fine that you can't find something to express it.

Or it can be a bad thing. You could be having a great day, talking to the woman you love when all of a sudden BAM! she tells you that you might be seeing less of her soon, and you are already seeing way too little of her as it is, you barely keep it together the weeks in between seeing her as it is and now those weeks could turn to months. You feel like everything you had planned in your head, everything you had hoped for, everything that had seem so perfect and innocent, all of a sudden just vanished into thin air. You love her so your soul feels crushed and you just want to find something somewhere to express how you feel.

Hours of relentless searching in books, in movies and online you can't find it and then you have this realization that maybe you really are the only one to have ever felt this. You have this feeling for a while just sitting there feeling empty inside, not sure what to do with yourself, then you think about it a little more and you realize that maybe you should try and write it out how you feel.

So you start to write. As you are writing you realize that no matter how many words you use, or no matter how long it becomes, there is just no saying what it is that you are feeling. So yes, people out there have felt your pain, the only reason you can't find it recorded anywhere is because It is just to difficult. You might have realized while reading this that this was my attempt at expressing how I felt. Just a bunch of sentences that kind of go together strewn together in this odd depressing romanticized post.

I am not sure exactly where I expected this post to go, but here is where it ends up, with me at the realization that no matter how badly I want to express this deep sorrow and longing, it is just not going to happen in the way that I planned. I'll listen to some sad music and write more on my story, which if you are at all interested in reading you can find here

Well I have run out of things to mindlessly type. Hope you all enjoy my nonsense!

Just a small romance story, I might add more later on, I might just leave as is

Ok so this story was written really late the other night after I was inspired by a conversation I was having with someone. I personally think that the way it is written is beautiful and I am very proud of the way it came out. Being as I wrote this at three in the morning I didn't exactly remember it the next morning so when I read it, it was like reading something someone else had written. I hope you enjoy it!

I catch your eyes from across the room. Immediately you notice the lust burning in my eyes.

Seeing that short skirt and heels drives your imagination into overdrive and you don't think you can bare not to touch that soft skin much longer.

I lick my lips and wink, teasing you, taunting you, begging you to come over and kiss me. I pull up my skirt a little exposing more skin and i can see the excitement and longing growing in your eyes. You wink at me and i feel like fainting. Like that wink set free energy that stunned my heart.

I let my hair down from its high placed bun, and as if it was in slow motion, you watch as it cascades down and around my face, like the perfect frame for a beautiful painting.

You start to walk towards me without even realizing your own motions. And before you can recall what force drove you towards me in such a manner, your arms are around me clinging to me. And it isn't just a hug, no, it is you trying to maintain your calm, being as there are people around.

Your chin resting on my shoulder you catch a glimpse of how great my backside looks in this particular skirt. you couldn't have stopped your hands even if you knew you were doing so. Slowly they moved and brushed over that plump, perfect amazing bottom and you can feel your heart pounding as if it were trying to escape your chest, just to touch me as well. You can't help it that every inch of your very being wanted to touch every inch of mine. Just as I can't help that my only wish for tonight is to leave here with just one kiss at the least.

After what feels like ages but in reality was only moments, we reluctantly release each other and our eyes connect again. Every time i see those eyes my mind freezes that moment and i capture it in my memory. Your eyes are something i want to remember forever. You see my eyes and all you can think is how, right then, brown was your favorite color, and you could just stay right there forever, and be happy.

With much hesitation i pull apart our gaze, like tearing a beam of light, it was close to impossible. But knowing that if i couldn't get you alone soon, i might never get the chance, drove me to do anything in my will to find somewhere to be just me and you. You followed behind me watching me as i walked. Wanting so badly to just grab me, spin me into your arms and kiss me so deeply as if to kiss my soul.

I find a room where no one was and almost immediately pin you to the wall. You would have been shocked but there was no time for that now, all that needed to be done was me.

Our lips collide as a wave to the shore, perfect and meant to connect, time and time again. Your hand on my lower back holding me up, if it wasn't for that i might have melted. Oh how long I have waited to feel your lips, your touch, your love.

It was as if you and I were the only ones in the world, you felt the way my lips felt against yours and craved more, you craved me and only me. For in that moment that was all that mattered.

Us.

love story part 1

Avangaline was running through the forest... she just had to get to out of her house... she had to see Kevin right away! She hadnt seen him in weeks... her parents have been yelling and scollding her for even thinking about dating a boy like that "a rebelious insult to humanity" as they called him... but she didn care what they thought... she didnt care what anybody thought... she loved him and he loved her... he was a whole other person now that they were together... he was sweet, and kind, and caring... she loved him... and she just had to get to him now!

She entered his back yard and for her luck he was there walking around in his yard... she didnt stop running till she fell into his arms and started sobbing... Kevin stroked her hair and kissed her forehead then he asked "hey, baby, whats wrong?" she stayed silent for a while and just stood there with him holding her... then she breathed "i missed you" "i missed you to darling..." he stepped back and put his hands on her shoulders... then bent down and looked her straight in th eyes "now baby, whats wrong?" she looked at him then down at the ground and shook her head... "they dont accept of us dating... but i WONT liste to them! i WONT leave you! they cant tell me who i am aloud to love!" he pulled her into his arms again and whispered in his ear "its ok babe, we will find a way to solve this"

Avangaline, age 16, was from a rich family... she and her family did alot of traveling around vacation time but a small town near atlanta georgia was her main home... she fell in love here and she wasnt leaving ever again for long periods of time ever again... her parents were really protective of her but she loved them... even though at times they made her want to scream...

Kevin, age 17, was from a high class family.. his dad was the mayor.... his dad and his mom were always out on the road and he mostly had the house to himself all the time... people around town knew him for his attitude... he was rebelious as most of them would describe him... but Avangaline saw him differently...She saw him as a good man... someone who cared about what she did and what she had to say...she loved him and he loved her...

weeks passed and every night Avangaline would sneek out of the house some time after dinner and after her parents had come up to her room to say their good nights... she would crawl out her window and the two of them would spend most of the night together... he would wait for her and they would run away into the night together...

comment and tell me what to think... i will post more soon =)