Zero Inspiration

I have been working on a story for some time now. It started out as just a little something stupid to write for a good friend of mine but grew into this amazing lesbian romance story. I was on a roll! Writing chapter after chapter, ideas just pouring out of me, some ideas layed out before I even got to that point in the story yet! But now, nothing. I love the story, and I know where I want it to go, but right now, I have lost all inspiration. I know what I could write, but it is pointless to write it if my emotion isn't in it. Then it would just be boring facts and no love or passion.

My inspiration left April 17th.

How can I be so exact? you may ask. Well that day I went to see the woman I love perform with her band. It wasn't a big thing, just an acoustic show with a few close friends and hardcore fans (that which I happen to fall into both categories) After the show a few of us went out for pizza. It was when we went out for pizza that I realized that the woman I love, now love someone else. My best friend to be exact, Carrie.

Now it isn't like Carrie stole her from me. I don't even know if Carrie KNOWS that she is in love with her. Carrie is straight, so there is no reason I could be mad at her about all this.

But still, against everything I try, I just have 0 inspiration for my story. I have tried flirting with other women, nothing.
Talking to someone else and venting feelings, nada.
Watching romance movies and tv shows, zilch.

I am fresh out of feelings. I feel so emotionally dead I am pretty sure I have been turned into a heartless player, of course no way of knowing since I am living in what seems to be THE STRAIGHTEST TOWN IN CALIFORNIA!

I just want to be able to walk down the street and have a nice woman honk or whistle at me. I am getting so fed up with telling every single guy that hits on me I am gay. For once I would like to tell the woman checking me out from across the room that I am gay instead! but of course there IS no woman checking me out from across the room. Because

AGAIN

STRAIGHTEST TOWN IN CALIFORNIA!

I just need some inspiration, this story means so much to me and I can't just give up on it now. There are so few Lesbian writers out there and I just want to put something out there for other girls like me. Girls who are just coming to terms with their sexuality and need something to read to make them feel good about themselves.

I know that when I would go to read a book and it was about a girl/boy romance, it would just make me feel like shit. But when I found my first lesbian romance: Keeping You a Secret, I read that book so many times I don't even have to open it anymore to read it, it is all in my head.

That book gave me courage to be who I am. That is what I want my story to do for someone one day. Even if it is one girl, and I finally give her the courage to come out, that would be amazing and beautiful.

But all I need to finish my story is a little inspiration. So please anyone reading this! Send me some 'feels'! I need something to spark some love or sadness in me. Really any emotion would be great, I haven't felt anything but Bitch for a solid week now.